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PostPosted: Mon Jan 02, 2017 2:56 pm 
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And, W6XYZ, oops I mean KTLA, is proud to take you back to another century, when the Valley Hunt Club was a big deal, and they didn't do parades on Sundays because it scared horses tied up at the churches. That's right! It's the Hundred and Something'th Honda America Tournament of Corporo-Fascism Parade!

Hi, I'm some guy you never heard of and I join some broad you never heard of in welcoming all our worldwide true believers to this year's fabulous celebration of Gilded Age values. It's our first year of hosting this fabulous New Year's event on the wrong day. Last year's hosts were old and their TVQ was lower than the gutter on Colorado Boulevard, so Corporate sent them to the Motion Picture Country Home. Therefore, we were up at 4 AM instead, and now we're proud to be up here in the wonderful California sunshine, or this year, the lack thereof. But don't worry, the electrical union has once again rented every 9000 foot-candle HMI light in Los Angeles, and it's always sunny in Pasadena. C'mon out and buy real estate, and sit in traffic with the rest of us chosen few.

This year's theme, in keeping with the glorious New World Order, is Nothing Succeeds Like Success, or some other delusion based on how your new government wants you to think. Many large corporations and Republican fronts for the Koch Brothers have sponsored fabulous prizes for floats best expressing the corporate ethos. We'll see them right after this incredibly phony song and dance number staged right out in the middle of the temporarily horse shit free street for your ultra-shallow corporate entertainment.

(Music up) Sung:
It's a wonderful fascist world
It's a powerful fascist world
It's time to turn off your brain...

And we welcome to the temporarily horse shit shit free street.... Mariah Carey!

(A woman dressed far too scantily for this time of year hits her mark, and then she tries to sing:)
---silence---
(Says:)
What's wrong with my fucking ear monitor? I can't lip sync to nothing!
(Electronic sounding voice:)
Audio, go to host! Camera 3, push in on that babe in front of Norton Simon! Good. Ready, and take three! (snaps fingers).

We're back. And here comes our first fabulous float! It's the winner in the Corporations Spending $30 Million or More to Advertise on Our Network Award. This one's really something. It may look like a big dumb bus, but now look at this, it raises up on leaky hydraulics to reveal a rather boring scene of an insurance company ACTUALLY PAYING A CLAIM! Yes, and the flooded house is rendered in 5 million white roses and of course some plant named "Status" which all the floats use as a subliminal to American viewers on what really matters. Isn't it wonderful to be out here in not so sunny California celebrating the dawn of the New World Fascist Order?

And here comes our first marching band. It's the Taiwanese Nazi Swastika Goose Steppers, who sold their mothers into slavery to pay their way to not-so-sunny Pasadena on this fabulous Day After New Year's Day.

(Other host:)
Where's my Teleprompter? Oh, right, thanks. Yes, their authentic German 1930s swastika uniforms are part of a disturbing fashion trend in Taiwan, where they think it's a good design, and they're so badly educated they just figure it's a good way to look bad ass.* It's a great way to usher in the New World Order.

---- continue in this wretched vein for two more hours ----

----------

*This really happened.
http://www.latimes.com/world/asia/la-fg ... t12aH-2gp2

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PostPosted: Mon Jan 02, 2017 3:06 pm 
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Joined: Tue Jul 19, 2011 3:45 am
Posts: 4612
That was brilliant Z pure gold.

:clap:


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 02, 2017 6:10 pm 
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Joined: Tue Jun 07, 2011 12:07 am
Posts: 14971
And, W6XYZ, oops I mean KTLA, is proud to take you back to another century, when the Valley Hunt Club was a big deal, and they didn't do parades on Sundays because it scared horses tied up at the churches. That's right! It's the Hundred and Something'th Honda America Tournament of Corporo-Fascism Parade!

Hi, I'm some guy you never heard of and I join some broad you never heard of in welcoming all our worldwide true believers to this year's fabulous celebration of Gilded Age values. It's our first year of hosting this fabulous New Year's event on the wrong day. Last year's hosts were old and their TVQ was lower than the gutter on Colorado Boulevard, so Corporate sent them to the Motion Picture Country Home. Therefore, we were up at 4 AM instead, and now we're proud to be up here in the wonderful California sunshine, or this year, the lack thereof. But don't worry, the electrical union has once again rented every 9000 foot-candle HMI light in Los Angeles, and it's always sunny in Pasadena. C'mon out and buy real estate, and sit in traffic with the rest of us chosen few.

This year's theme, in keeping with the glorious New World Order, is Nothing Succeeds Like Success, or some other delusion based on how your new government wants you to think. Many large corporations and Republican fronts for the Koch Brothers have sponsored fabulous prizes for floats best expressing the corporate ethos. We'll see them right after this incredibly phony song and dance number staged right out in the middle of the temporarily horse shit free street for your ultra-shallow corporate entertainment.

(Music up) Sung:
It's a wonderful fascist world
It's a powerful fascist world
It's time to turn off your brain...

And we welcome to the temporarily horse shit shit free street.... Mariah Carey!

(A woman dressed far too scantily for this time of year hits her mark, and then she tries to sing:)
---silence---
(Says:)
What's wrong with my fucking ear monitor? I can't lip sync to nothing!
(Electronic sounding voice:)
Audio, go to host! Camera 3, push in on that babe in front of Norton Simon! Good. Ready, and take three! (snaps fingers).

We're back. And here comes our first fabulous float! It's the winner in the Corporations Spending $30 Million or More to Advertise on Our Network Award. This one's really something. It may look like a big dumb bus, but now look at this, it raises up on leaky hydraulics to reveal a rather boring scene of an insurance company ACTUALLY PAYING A CLAIM! Yes, and the flooded house is rendered in 5 million white roses and of course some plant named "Status" which all the floats use as a subliminal to American viewers on what really matters. Isn't it wonderful to be out here in not so sunny California celebrating the dawn of the New World Fascist Order?

And here comes our first marching band. It's the Taiwanese Nazi Swastika Goose Steppers, who sold their mothers into slavery to pay their way to not-so-sunny Pasadena on this fabulous Day After New Year's Day.

(Other host:)
Where's my Teleprompter? Oh, right, thanks. Yes, their authentic German 1930s swastika uniforms are part of a disturbing fashion trend in Taiwan, where they think it's a good design, and they're so badly educated they just figure it's a good way to look bad ass.* It's a great way to usher in the New World Order.

---- continue in this wretched vein for two more hours ----

----------

*This really happened.
http://www.latimes.com/world/asia/la-fg ... t12aH-2gp2

well, id say how entertaining zowie but im sure its all true and not entertainment fiction.
btw LAT wouldnt let me read the thing instead wanted me to join their special club, which i wont do.
im sick of 'special clubs' for 'special' muricans who have 'special' emails and names and personal infos.
but i digress.

i wondered what this parade hoohah was, again, this morning on my TV, since the hoohah was OVER
yesterday for at least the next TEN MONTHS NO OVERT XMAS AD SHIT.
well, i guess except for the last large XMAS money grubber event in CA.

please someone tell me the xmas shit is over...six solid weeks of spendbuymespendbuymespendbuyme bullshit. smh.

_________________
Who are these...flag-sucking halfwits fleeced fooled by stupid little rich kids They speak for all that is cruel stupid
They are racists hate mongers I piss down the throats of these Nazis Im too old to worry whether they like it Fuck them.
HST.


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 02, 2017 7:06 pm 
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Board Emeritus
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Joined: Thu Jun 09, 2011 1:10 pm
Posts: 15073
Location: The blue parts of the map
well, id say how entertaining zowie but im sure its all true and not entertainment fiction.
btw LAT wouldnt let me read the thing instead wanted me to join their special club, which i wont do.
im sick of 'special clubs' for 'special' muricans who have 'special' emails and names and personal infos.
but i digress.

i wondered what this parade hoohah was, again, this morning on my TV, since the hoohah was OVER
yesterday for at least the next TEN MONTHS NO OVERT XMAS AD SHIT.
well, i guess except for the last large XMAS money grubber event in CA.

please someone tell me the xmas shit is over...six solid weeks of spendbuymespendbuymespendbuyme bullshit. smh.


> W6XYZ, oops I mean KTLA

True. W6XYZ was its original call sign at Paramount. It was an FCC experimental license.

> when the Valley Hunt Club was a big deal

True. That's who started the Tournament of Roses.

> and they didn't do parades on Sundays because it scared horses tied up at the churches.

That's one reason I hear. Another one is just that they preferred that everyone go to church.

> It's our first year of hosting this fabulous New Year's event

True.

> on the wrong day.

Previously explained.

> Last year's hosts were old

They had been doing the parade for KTLA longer than I can remember. They were getting a bit long in the tooth for such a demanding assignment, and I'm sure they tested poorly with the all-powerful Millennials.

> their TVQ was lower than the gutter on Colorado Boulevard

Actually I don't know their Q scores. For some reason, those are a huge deal in this silly industry. I can't imagine they'd be stratospheric, though.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Q_Score

> so Corporate sent them to the Motion Picture Country Home

I doubt they'd be eligible. The Home exists, though. I've known a few people who took their last hurrahs there.

> But don't worry, the electrical union has once again rented every 9000 foot-candle HMI light in Los Angeles

True. It used to be the only time the huge old Mole-Richardson Titan MoleArc lights would get rented, since nothing else needed that kind of light any more. But they were replaced by the HMI medium-arc, which is perfect for Rose Parades.

> and it's always sunny in Pasadena.

True. If there's not enough sun to make shadows, well, no problem. I didn't make up that 9000 fc part. In general, if you have the money and personnel, it's always sunny in Southern California........

> C'mon out and buy real estate,

True. The Tournament of Roses was originally meant to show people back east that you can grow roses and have outdoor fun in January in L.A., so why not come out and join us? It retains that function, among others.

> and sit in traffic with the rest of us chosen few.

Only too true. The place is completely gridlocked most of the day.

> This year's theme, in keeping with the glorious New World Order, is Nothing Succeeds Like Success

Somewhat exaggerated. The theme, however, really was "Success," and most floats were in keeping with the corporo-fascist success/victory mythos.

> We'll see them right after this incredibly phony song and dance number

Yes and no. They do begin with one of these nowadays, completely staged for the cameras at Colorado and Orange Grove. However, the Carey incident was actually at Times Square NYE, which is now also about 80% staged for TV. And I still don't know how she could perform in that thing she was barely wearing at that time of year and time of night in New York.

> It's the winner in the Corporations Spending $30 Million or More to Advertise on Our Network Award.

Yes and no. I pulled the $30 million figure out of my head. However, most of the floats are sponsored by corporations, and there seem to be enough awards that they all win something.

> It may look like a big dumb bus, but now look at this, it raises up on leaky hydraulics to reveal a rather boring scene of an insurance company

Completely true.

> ACTUALLY PAYING A CLAIM!

Totally false. Actually it shows a house in a flood caused by pet dogs, and the host reads something about Farmer's, the float sponsor, having a real claim like this. Whether they paid it or not was not discussed.

> Yes, and the flooded house is rendered in 5 million white roses

Every float has to have some roses. The 5 million is made up.

> and of course some plant named "Status"

True. There's some kind of plant named Status, which all the float builders use. It cracks me up every time they say the name in this context, given the wealthy Gilded Age Republican nature of the tiny Pasadena hereditary Establishment that puts on this parade.

> the Taiwanese Nazi Swastika Goose Steppers

There was no such band in the parade, though most of the bands they do have are heavy on old-school military style marching and discipline.

However, there really was a marching group in Taiwan fitting this description, except for selling their mothers into slavery.

Since the L.A. Times really has gotten rather provincial and stupid regarding who can access their content, here you go. Same link:

http://www.latimes.com/world/asia/la-fg ... t12aH-2gp2

Quote:
Nazi imagery from Taiwan stems from ignorance, not hate, analysts say

This was just the latest flap: A group of students from a private high school in Taiwan held a mock Nazi rally just before Christmas with a cardboard tank, lookalike uniforms and swastikas.

The bizarre display of Nazi costumery had antecedents. In 2000, a Taipei restaurateur opened a concentration camp-themed diner. The following year, a major political party changed a campaign ad that mentioned Hitler.

Every couple of years, Taiwan catches the West off guard with a display of Nazism used for play, humor or commerce. Jewish rights groups and the Israeli government usually condemn the acts, prompting the perpetrators to stand down.

_________________
True patriots are appalled.


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 03, 2017 6:05 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jun 06, 2011 10:27 pm
Posts: 6692
Location: miles from nowhere
Thanks, Z. I needed that!

_________________
bird's theorem-"we the people" are stupid.

"No one is so foolish as to choose war over peace. In peace sons bury their fathers, in war fathers bury their sons." - Herodotus


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