Rememberearth, we share a lot in common.
My son is severely disabled by Autism. My daughter was under an Asperger diagnosis years ago but they haven't used that designation since DSM-5 which was published in 2013. Now there's just a single diagnosis, Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). There are degrees and ends to that spectrum, where a child is located on that spectrum is used to plan their individualized education program (IEP).
I don't see the DSM-5, currently used diagnosis words in your post, that's a red flag.
During that meeting did they inform you of your rights?
That is usually the first order of business. They have to inform you of your rights even if you have been informed of them 15 times during prior IEP meetings, there is a required handout about them. And your signature about having been informed of your rights is required. After all these years if I were to stack my IEP rights handouts atop one another it would be a foot thick.
Under Federal law, the IDEA act, these are your rights:
To receive a complete explanation of all the procedural safeguards available under IDEA and the procedures in the state for presenting complaints.
To inspect and review the educational records of their child.
To participate in meetings related to the identification, evaluation, and placement of their child, and the provision of FAPE (a free appropriate public education) to their child.
To obtain an independent educational evaluation (IEE) of their child.
To receive “prior written notice” on matters relating to the identification, evaluation, or placement of their child, and the provision of FAPE to their child.
To give or deny their consent before the school may take certain action with respect to their child.
To disagree with decisions made by the school system on those issues.
To use IDEA’s mechanisms for resolving disputes, including the right to appeal determinations.
http://www.parentcenterhub.org/notice-safeguards/#whatI'm wondering what your school is like.