TV Ads You Hate

[Number6]

Okay, this thread may get some arguments but there are a number of ads on TV that are either ridiculous or just annoying. Here's a list of some of the ads that annoy me.

1. The animal rescue ads asking you to save an animal. An actress tells a sobbing story about mistreated animals and that only you can help rescue them if you donate now.

2. Drug commercials showing people taking a pharmaceutical drug dancing and living it up. Yeah, like a bunch of people are going to start dancing in the street.

3. The Pespo-Bismol commercials where someone is suffering heartburn or diarrhea and others around him start singing about taking Pepto-Bismol.

4. The Shriners Children Hospital ads with children suffering from different ailments. It's not the ad itself but like the animal rescue ad it's shown too many times during a show or the day.

5. The Liberty Mutual Insurance commercial with the guy having a badge hanging around his neck like he's a policeman and his partner is an Emu. The question I have is why would anyone buy an insurance product from this guy.

7. Car, home, and appliance warranty ads. Warranties are like insurance policies except the warranty companies will find reasons to deny what you paid for is covered.

8. Commercials for hotel/casinos in Las Vegas showing beautiful women and good looking men having a wonderful time and implies you'd be one of them.

9. Any commercial for a supplement where a disclaimer in very small, hard to read print saying the FDA has not verified the effectiveness of the claim.

10. Car commercials where the driver is obviously speeding through traffic or driving the car/SUV/truck someplace you'd never drive it like up a waterfall in Iceland.

[ap215]

I really despise the health product ads where they tell you how whichever product they promote improves your sex life muscles & such along with the karaoke music i really can't stand those ads.

[ZoWie]

Mostly it's the dreaded local insertion ads. You know, the ones that you don't see unless they can't get anyone to pay the top rate for the time, so it defaults to time they sell in bulk to el-cheapo importers. The ones that show junk and a phone number to order the junk, with the same professional voiceover talent telling you what a fabulous offer it is.

In LA, most of these are for Bulb Head. They're always miracle devices made in China, and you just know they break the second time you use them. Other times, they have the Bell & Howell trademark in the screen corner. I don't know how the company that used to make such great indestructable movie cameras became synonymous with the same kind of plastic Chinese crap that Bulb Head pushes.

Any car ad. Don't even start me. You already mentioned the reasons. When did it become a primary selling point for crummy little family transportation cars to show them flogging at 45 MPH across terrain that would break anything short of a military tank? The mind boggles at this proof of human stupidity.

Then there's that ridiculous K-A-R-S Cars For Kids ad that hasn't changed in 25 years. The one with the art direction that looks like a zero-budget remake of Barbie. Those adorable children in the fake rock band lip-syncing the wretched brain-melting jingle probably have their own kids by now. I hope those kids earn an honest living. Their parents sure didn't.

[Number6]

Mostly it's the dreaded local insertion ads. You know, the ones that you don't see unless they can't get anyone to pay the top rate for the time, so it defaults to time they sell in bulk to el-cheapo importers. The ones that show junk and a phone number to order the junk, with the same professional voiceover talent telling you what a fabulous offer it is.

In LA, most of these are for Bulb Head. They're always miracle devices made in China, and you just know they break the second time you use them. Other times, they have the Bell & Howell trademark in the screen corner. I don't know how the company that used to make such great indestructable movie cameras became synonymous with the same kind of plastic Chinese crap that Bulb Head pushes.

Any car ad. Don't even start me. You already mentioned the reasons. When did it become a primary selling point for crummy little family transportation cars to show them flogging at 45 MPH across terrain that would break anything short of a military tank? The mind boggles at this proof of human stupidity.

Then there's that ridiculous K-A-R-S Cars For Kids ad that hasn't changed in 25 years. The one with the art direction that looks like a zero-budget remake of Barbie. Those adorable children in the fake rock band lip-syncing the wretched brain-melting jingle probably have their own kids by now. I hope those kids earn an honest living. Their parents sure didn't.

Damm you, Zowie! Now I've got that stupid jingle stuck in my head.

[ZoWie]

I know. I've had a similar earworm since writing that. Damn you, kars for kids. I wouldn't give you a burned out Tesla, let alone a working car.

Then there are the prescription drugs. They show young pretty people who become insanely happy and start jumping out of airplanes or climbing mountains after they start taking some pill that costs $200 a throw. If that's not stupid enough, then they start rattling off truly unsettling potential side effects all the way from sudden death to uncontrollable nuclear chain reactions. I'd rather know the side effects of too many stupid commercials.

[Number6]

I think a lot of the advertisers think the people they're targeting the ads to are idiots. They imply their products will transform your life from one of a boring/uninteresting to one where you become attractive living an fun life where people are attracted to you. IMO, most people lead a boring/uninteresting life and using their product won't change that. It's all an illusion.

One of the things I can't understand is why anyone would buy a product endorsed by a celebrity. Don't they know the celebrity is being paid endorse their product? For me, a celebrity endorsement means nothing. I take a look at the product/service and determine if it's a good value. When I make a major purchase, like a car or appliance, I don't see who is endorsing it but I compare products to each other and make my decision that way.

[gounion]

Four words: "He went to Jared!"

[ZoWie]

These endorsements are a major support system for washed-up celebrities who have become famous for being famous after most people forgot what they actually did. It's especially endemic in the sports world. Some old guy who peaked in his late teens, being good at some game or other 40 years ago, holds up a package of some chemical and promises it will make you one of the Beautiful People boarding jets to all manner of glamorous celebrity resorts and doing the pastimes of the idle rich.

This must work, or they wouldn't have kept pushing it down the bottomless maw of home entertainment for generations now. I don't know anyone who hasn't wondered how stupid they think we are, but they keep doing it so someone's gotta be registering on their metrics.

The bottom of the barrel, though, is those miracle Chinese products that light up or buzz or drip or whatever, and are guaranteed to make you a superhero for only one phone call and a $29.95 charge (followed, no doubt, by every kind of harassing direct mail ad and robocall for years to come). Why does it always sound like the same guy doing them all? Maybe it really is, or maybe it's a robot and they all bought the same software.

These always air, like a default, when absolutely no one else wants to pay for the wretched time slot. You get a few on weekday afternoon replays of old Dodger games, when they can't sell the time to the usual Jack in the Box, Carl's Junior, at least six makers of identical cars you can't tell apart, etc etc. Sometimes they run a bit long, and then when Jack in the Box or Carl's Junior stop with their precisely timed 28 second ads, you get a few frames of the Bulb Head before the ball games come back. I suspect these are in there deliberately to take advantage of these overlaps.

I understand the attractiveness of streaming, but really the only advantage is the view-on-demand, because within 10 years they'll be running the same crap.

[Number6]

These endorsements are a major support system for washed-up celebrities who have become famous for being famous after most people forgot what they actually did. It's especially endemic in the sports world. Some old guy who peaked in his late teens, being good at some game or other 40 years ago, holds up a package of some chemical and promises it will make you one of the Beautiful People boarding jets to all manner of glamorous celebrity resorts and doing the pastimes of the idle rich.

This must work, or they wouldn't have kept pushing it down the bottomless maw of home entertainment for generations now. I don't know anyone who hasn't wondered how stupid they think we are, but they keep doing it so someone's gotta be registering on their metrics.

The bottom of the barrel, though, is those miracle Chinese products that light up or buzz or drip or whatever, and are guaranteed to make you a superhero for only one phone call and a $29.95 charge (followed, no doubt, by every kind of harassing direct mail ad and robocall for years to come). Why does it always sound like the same guy doing them all? Maybe it really is, or maybe it's a robot and they all bought the same software.

These always air, like a default, when absolutely no one else wants to pay for the wretched time slot. You get a few on weekday afternoon replays of old Dodger games, when they can't sell the time to the usual Jack in the Box, Carl's Junior, at least six makers of identical cars you can't tell apart, etc etc. Sometimes they run a bit long, and then when Jack in the Box or Carl's Junior stop with their precisely timed 28 second ads, you get a few frames of the Bulb Head before the ball games come back. I suspect these are in there deliberately to take advantage of these overlaps.

I understand the attractiveness of streaming, but really the only advantage is the view-on-demand, because within 10 years they'll be running the same crap.

Those Chinese's crap products found a new angle. Instead of "You get the second one free! Just pay shipping and handling." they've come up with because of supply line disruptions quantities are limited to two per customer. Really? If they amount of merchandise is limited then why are they advertising the hell out of it?

[Number6]

For years/decades, Macy's has been airing commercials showing beautiful young women and well-built men to sell perfume. The models are shown in various situations, usually around water, showing their "beautiful" lifestyle. The only time you see their product is for a few seconds at the end of the commercial telling you "Only at Macy." It doesn't matter how many bottles of perfume a person buys they're not going to look anywhere like the models or have their lifestyle. Let's face it, most people in the world don't fall into the beautiful, good-looking category and no amount of perfume will change that.

[bradman]

TV Ads You Hate> All of them.

[ZoWie]

It's not just Macys, they all do it. It must work, because it's the basic pitch used for most such products sold at these stores. Their counters are right next to the Rolex watches and other wannabe gear. It makes me vomit.

Actually there aren't many of these department store chains left. A few kept their flagships in midtown Manhattan, but that's pretty much it. I would imagine that Mall-Wart et al handed them their lunch. There weren't enough upper-middle class wannabes to support their horrendously high prices dictated by their high overhead. Even the Robinson's next to the Beverly Hilton is gone.

It's not just fashion ads. Something similar exists for investment firms. They only advertise on the business channels, since their core users are presumed to be glued to them all day long. Since what they sell has no physical product for the glamorous professional models to hold up, they all show catchy ray tracings while making the same pitch in the same biz-speak language that's pretty much dictated by investment law. I marvel at these visuals. They're far slicker than anything I'd ever be able to make with Photoshop, a product that is losing all touch with its core userbase, or all the various high-end whoopie AI raytracers that only advertise to motion graphics firms.

Unfortunately, the final product has no meaning whatsoever, beyond "Our ad agency's contractor's AI motion graphic software is better than all those other people's, so risk your life savings with us." Meanwhile balls roll down computer-generated tracks, or futuristic cities rise from the clouds. Whoopie.

[ap215]

The Injury Lawyer commercials how really legit are they when they put up a police siren symbol or say things like "If you've been injured in a car accident" all for a buck nothing bad against real lawyers i'm sure they do their very best to help out their clients in real life cases.

[ZoWie]

OMG, all these suddenly trendy, star-wannabe, personal-injury law firm owners are sticking their silly billboards and out-of-tune TV ads all over LA. There's always art with a cartoon face and a catchy first name (presumably the senior partner) promising you millions for getting hit by a truck. They're half the billboards you see. Sometimes the other half are ego-trip movie or music ads that are often written right into star contracts. "Tell him I'm not signing unless I get my face up at Sunset and Crescent Heights."

[Number6]

OMG, all these suddenly trendy, star-wannabe, personal-injury law firm owners are sticking their silly billboards and out-of-tune TV ads all over LA. There's always art with a cartoon face and a catchy first name (presumably the senior partner) promising you millions for getting hit by a truck. They're half the billboards you see. Sometimes the other half are ego-trip movie or music ads that are often written right into star contracts. "Tell him I'm not signing unless I get my face up at Sunset and Crescent Heights."

One TV ad for trial lawyers is where a man and a woman start talking about if you've been injured to call them and ask what you can get. The camera then goes to a scene with a bunch of people (lawyers?) answering phones like they taking pledges at a PBS pledge drive. No, they're not. Lawyers are going to have someone answering their phones screening their calls and then directing possible new clients to either a lawyer or a paralegal who will interview them.

[gounion]

TV Ads You Hate> All of them.

Nah, not ALL of them... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=szxjqego9GI

[bradman]

Nah, not ALL of them... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=szxjqego9GI

ok.......that was funny. i'll give ya that and one up ya.

Ya may have seen the short version. Here's the long version that touches my heart...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PpvLye7fOT4

[gounion]

ok.......that was funny. i'll give ya that and one up ya.

Ya may have seen the short version. Here's the long version that touches my heart...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PpvLye7fOT4

The Bud Light commercial was a Super Bowl ad. The nice thing about the Super Bowl is that the ad companies work on ads that are fun and entertaining on their own, rather than ear worms that drive you nuts. Many regular commercials are designed for the latter.

[ZoWie]

Commercials are essentially miniature morality plays. (McCluhan said that, I didn't make it up.)

The big time ones like at the Super Bowl are in fact the Super Bowl of media production. The best talent works on them and they get the biggest bucks. Measured in dollars spent per second of screen time, they're off the chart. Everything that goes into them has had as much spent on research as production. They're a good read on what the money people are doing with some of the profits from our inflated prices for everything. Apparently right now, they take us all for empty-headed clones with massive insecurity over our age and our looks, and terminal envy of media stars.

Presumably Bulb Head et al don't spend as much, and it shows. Why do they all have the same voice? Either one voiceover-talent guy is making a mint on this stuff, or somewhere there's a talent agency that manufactures clones from the discarded plastic when people throw away their $29.95 order-now miracles.

[Number6]

Commercials are essentially miniature morality plays. (McCluhan said that, I didn't make it up.)

The big time ones like at the Super Bowl are in fact the Super Bowl of media production. The best talent works on them and they get the biggest bucks. Measured in dollars spent per second of screen time, they're off the chart. Everything that goes into them has had as much spent on research as production. They're a good read on what the money people are doing with some of the profits from our inflated prices for everything. Apparently right now, they take us all for empty-headed clones with massive insecurity over our age and our looks, and terminal envy of media stars.

The best talent leans a lot on psychology and how they can use it to grab people's attention and how to get them to buy or at least consider buying it. That's why there are commercials where the actors are singing and/or dancing because the tune, when repeated, becomes an ear-worm. Think of the old ads for Oscar Mayer Hot Dogs or Dr. Pepper (I'm a Pepper, You're a Pepper).

Presumably Bulb Head et al don't spend as much, and it shows. Why do they all have the same voice? Either one voiceover-talent guy is making a mint on this stuff, or somewhere there's a talent agency that manufactures clones from the discarded plastic when people throw away their $29.95 order-now miracles.

Bulb Head commercials reminds me of the TV personalities on HSN where they're trying to tell you how their product solves the problem you probably don't have except Bulb Head and only 30, 45, or 60 seconds to do it.

[ZoWie]

The Chinese product ads feel like they're 2 minutes long, but of course they're not. They used to be, but that was a long time ago. When CNN started, they couldn't give ad time away in the day time (when most of the real news happens), so they became famous for marathon ads in the exact same format as today, with the hyper male voices and the worthless junk products you never saw anywhere else. Only real change is the length. They no longer have time to plug all the fabulous bonus "gifts" they used to send you if you called now.

[Number6]

The Chinese product ads feel like they're 2 minutes long, but of course they're not. They used to be, but that was a long time ago. When CNN started, they couldn't give ad time away in the day time (when most of the real news happens), so they became famous for marathon ads in the exact same format as today, with the hyper male voices and the worthless junk products you never saw anywhere else. Only real change is the length. They no longer have time to plug all the fabulous bonus "gifts" they used to send you if you called now.

If I recall correctly, it was Ron Popeil who became the "King" of these types of products in the 1960s with the Ronco Veg-o-Matic and he'd advertise them on late-night TV. He'd be hawking the Veg-o-Matic, the Pocket Fisherman, and a hair spray that would hide bald spots.

[ZoWie]

Oh right, the Veg-O-Matic. It would do everything except cook dinner for you. By my time it was a slang term for the Chevy Vega car, which people were recycling into street rods.

[Number6]

I'm tired of all these drug ads for diseases or disorders that no one has heard of. Like Peyronie's disease.

[ZoWie]

I'm tired of the way they script those. Beautiful young woman looks sad because she thinks halitosis has ruined her life. Beautiful young woman discovers this $300 a pop pill and one dissolve later she's jumping out of airplanes and climbing mountains. Common side effects include nuclear fusion reaction and highly radioactive plasma ejection.

Ask your doctor if this stuff is right for you.

(fade out)